A Tribute to Father's (part 2)

I fear I am going to post pretty infrequently this summer. With Jeff home from school and the summer being so gorgeous.. I haven't been "off" during the summer in years and it's just too great to pass up!

Well... we're now way beyond Father's Day, but everyday is still an opportunity for a tribute. I just read a post on my cousin's blog all about my father, which made the tears stream down my face, but it also led me to remember how lucky I am that my family has a wonderful husband and father that we cherish everyday.

When my dad got sick I was at a crossroads in my life between daughter and future wife. Throughout college I consulted with my dad on everything. Everyday I had a reason to call and sometimes no reason, but I was extremely dependent on my dad. He was my sounding board for everything and as I got older it got better as we could go to dinner or to the bar and grab some food and drinks and just talk about business and marketing strategy for hours. I felt this battle inside of myself when he was sick.. I was torn during decision times - do I figure this out within myself and consult just Jeff, my future husband or do I bring my dad in, because a) that's what I've always done b) he's ALWAYS right and c) will he scoff later if I don't, because I didn't make a good decision? But he'd also get annoyed when I asked advice and then did the opposite of what he suggested.

Once I got married it was much easier to rely on Jeff and to put my trust into him wholehearted and wow it's amazing how timing works, because I didn't really have a choice. 1 month and 8 days after my dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away to my husband, he passed away. Now almost 2 years later it is still surreal to me that my dad isn't a phone call away. And everyday that passes by I am more and more grateful for Jeff who is always ready to help me and offer advice and be my sounding board. And he has a marketing mind! I love that. He gets so excited when he sees campaigns that need a new tag line and he's good at it. So good that we have a few pitches we're going to make.

The week that my dad died Jeff was absolutely unbelievable. I never knew our relationship could be so soft and compassionate... it's just not what we are on a day to day basis, but he just knew what I needed. He'd never experienced much death and he was in the room when my dad took his last breath.

We got pregnant with Kelsey just a couple of months after. Things were a bit rocky up to that point and we had actually decided to wait at least 6 months to start trying again, because we needed to figure us out first. Go figure was the phrase for a while... we found out I was pregnant 3 days later.

Everyone else seemed to know there was a connection between grief and procreation, but apparently I was the last to figure it out. I'm not sure if it's entirely because it fills a void or because it's the circle of life. Regardless, being pregnant while grieving is a pretty difficult time. Jeff was extremely patient and tolerant.

I knew going into my marriage and having a baby that Jeff was an amazing father and I knew we parented similarly because of Julia. While there are many stresses and hardships surrounding a complex family and step-parents and children, one absolute positive aspect is that there's no questions when it comes to how you'll parent together.. you've already had practice.

Jeff is an amazing father. It seems so lame to say that and it's been said so many times about so many dads (who I'm sure ARE all amazing), but how do you put it into words.. there just isn't enough.

He makes the girls laugh, he plays, he reads, he teaches them new things, he's persistent, but gentle. He assumes the responsibility and has no qualms about alone time or bed time or feeding time. He LOVES being a dad and we are so lucky to have him and I am so lucky to have him.

A tribute to fathers (part 1)

I know I am a couple of days late on this... Happy Father's Day to all of you fathers out there. This post is dedicated to all of the amazing fathers out there and especially the ones in my life. A tribute to my father- Michael Kevin Molloy - March 27, 1942 - August 30th, 2006.

My dad, Michael Kevin Molloy Sr., is impossible to describe in words, but I guess looking back, I have tried on several occasions over the years. His charisma and ability to streamline and deflect any situation that arose was monumental. His problem solving and people skills could go down in history books. He taught everyone he met and was always learning. He had this "Rat Pack" tough kid from the Bronx charm, but he was never cold or unable to approach. Mike (or Mikey allowed by only certain clan members), first generation American, was born in the Bronx to Richard and Ita Molloy of Ireland. He was 7 out of 10 kids, which undoubtedly had a lot to do with social charm and his dire need for "Mikey time". Only those who lived with my dad would know that he was not always "on" or ready for a social gathering. When home, just lounging my dad resided in his sweatpants, white socks and his very loved and very broken-in recliner chair with clicker in hand and a (very) large plastic cup of water or seltzer or caffeine free coke (the kind that makes you go "uh guh guh guh"

My dad was always the final word for me when it came to asking for advice. I consulted with him on everything from car repairs and what computer to buy to tag lines for marketing campaigns I was working on. They didn't call him "the Whip" in high school for no reason. He could whip out a come back faster than anyone I've ever met. He was always ready, but listened with such a keen ear.

I wrote a poem about him my senior year in high school that until the day he died was still quite an accurate assessment - goes to show how consistent he was. My assignment was to write a character sketch of someone I knew based on the style of the Canterbury Tales. I had just recently been grounded until I turned 18, so for two months - my dad was pretty ticked off...

"My father is a man immense with life.
His Eyes a sparkling blue,
And his laughter loud and true.
Through out the years his hair color has changed,
The shades of salt and pepper are all arranged.
He still has a full head of hair,
But in the center there is a small glare.
His attire is a simple dress,
My father is not one to try and impress.
The advice he gives is admirable and fair,
He never hesitates to show that he cares.
A pat on the back is a common occurrence,
As is a pep talk to engrave his assurance.
When he says "I love you kid",
And I have no knowledge of what I did,
I know it's because he's great
And that he's in a joyous state.
The smile that stretches from ear to ear,
Is what will bring to my eye a tear.
He shows his approval out of the blue,
He doesn't need a specific cue.
When he is angry it creates quite a sight,
It may even cause an abundance of fright.
Those famous last words before the end,
"You're pushing your luck, Kid" is what he'll send.
The sound of his voice generates fear,
The depth and tone are what make it clear.
When he clears his throat it's a warning to flee,
And if the warning is neglected,
It's an invitation to a yelling spree.
The eruption only comes after tremendous irritation,
And every time a great initiation.
He won't blow at the first try,
It takes a lot to crack this guy.
Although the punishments tend to be reasonably short,
Probably because he's so familiar with the sport.
Growing up is a hard task,
But being a supportive parent is a lot to ask.
He accomplishes this to a tee,
I'm sure he can't wait to be free.
He and his wife have dreams of the south,
I know we'll keep in touch by mouth.
He strives hard to flourish in his field,
His background and knowledge provide a great shield.
Business and casual are united as one,
He has always succeeded at combining work with fun.
Business deals are constant dates,
In any one of the fifty states.
Often times they take up a whole day,
Discussions are even held on the fairway.
Golf and cigars are his passion,
The opposite of his opinion on fashion.
He focuses on the world around,
The Wall Street Journal cannot be put down.
With each passing day my respect for him grows.
And as I get older I seem to know,
The measures he takes to provide for me.
Without those journies I would not see,
That my father is a man immense with life.

You can see the admiration I had for him when I was just a pip squeak!

In 2006 I had the honor of being walked down the aisle by my father. It had never even occurred to me that it was even a possibility he wouldn't be there. Not even when he was diagnosed with cancer in March of '06. When I was in college he was diagnosed with lung disease (interstitial pulmonary fibrosis).. basically the lungs attack themselves and deteriorate over time. Once he got "better" from it I rarely even thought about it and he was fine. He could exercise and smoke his cigars etc. He was living a normal life. Until March of '06. Literally in a matter of a few days he couldn't swallow anymore. He called me on March 9th (the day before my Mom's 52nd birthday) and told me he/they thought he had esophageal cancer. My response was "are you serious".. it was just so surreal. They caught it early enough, but to fully get the tumor out they would normally operate to remove it, which requires collapsing a lung. With his lung history it wasn't a risk they could take, so they added 2 extra weeks of radiation. Chemo and Radiation took their toll. After several weeks into it as the tumor started to shrink he was able to eat again. My dad loved his food so much that while he couldn't eat he'd actually chew filet mignon just to get the flavor and then spit it out. His humor through it all was unbelievable. He'd send emails to the "Molloy Clan" titled "Cue Ball Update". It was hard to tell what was really going on from afar. Whenever anyone called my parents they'd get one story from my mom (reality combined with fear) and a completely different one from my dad (completely upbeat and turning the conversation to.. so what's going on with you?). He finished the chemo and radiation. He went to my wedding. He beat the cancer. But the lungs got fried in the meantime and just couldn't hold up any longer. In a matter of days he went from celebrating beating the cancer at his favorite restaurant with champagne and making golf dates to passing away. My mom still has his cell phone activated. She says it's because it's a family plan and it'd be a pain to cancel, but I'm not complaining. I'm sure she calls it just like we do (my brothers and sister) to hear his voice on his voice mail. Just last week I literally went to go call him and expected him to say hi. I forgot for a minute. Since he passed I have found myself so flustered and upset that I forgot the sound of his laugh, but it always comes back.

My dad was my inspiration, my hero, and my best friend. I miss him more with each passing day. I wish my daughter would have gotten to meet him, but I know she has so much of him and even his blue eyes. Everyday I reflect about the time I had and the life I want to lead in which he'd be proud.

Back to Nature...

Yesterday was a gorgeous, but strange day. Mother Nature decided to change it up I suppose. From the inside looking out it appeared to be a regular, gorgeous, almost summer day. But then Kelsey and I got outside to go for a walk and I realized how windy it really was. So windy, that when I got to the stop sign at the end of our road I turned us around, because I didn't want to be in the road with a large gust of wind.

So we got back inside and Kelsey took a nap. Then she woke up and I gave her a snack. Pretty standard, normal stuff. As she was sitting in her highchair I saw something dark out of the corner of my eye when I was walking from the kitchen to the living room (which parallels the road). At first I didn't look, but as I processed that there's not something usually there, I looked out the window. A HUGE branch of one of our front trees fell down and was basically in the road. I went outside and had to move the thing out of the road as much as I could. But how on earth did I not hear it fall? I was home.. haunted happenings at the Payson house. There's other branches on the yard as well, but not as big. Jeff said, "well I'd say it was windy today"... but how did I not hear it? Oh.. that reminds me.. I must bring back the squirrel story from the archives next week.

So... since Mother Nature was playing tricks on me, I thought it'd be nice to show what else was out there yesterday. We finally did go for another walk and took some pictures of the local flowers.

Earlier in the month Julia, Jeff's mom, Kelsey and I all went down to Damariscotta to watch the Alewives go up stream. They go up a river 50 vertical feet and arrive at the top at a safe place to spawn. I've never seen anything like it. In the picture to the left every curve and color you see is a fish. MILLIONS of fish! They just instinctively know how to get there. Where we went the people of Damariscotta Falls built a "ladder" a hundred years ago or so. They basically built walls on either side of the river that curve and bend creating steps. They also created rest areas for the fish to swim calmly as they make their way up. It goes on for about 5 days. We saw some casualties along the way, but the majority of the fish make it. We walked to the top of the "ladder" (and you have to go through backyards and such. At the very top there is a small opening that the fish come through as they end their journey and enter safety. Kids sit above this opening and cheer as a fish comes through every couple of minutes. It was very cool. Here's a link for more information http://www.netrailhead.com/maine/alewife-fishladder-damariscotta-mills/

Notice the poser in the middle. That's all for today. Off to storytime at a friend's house.

Until next time!

A childless moment...

Kelsey is taking her morning nap and I actually found myself thinking, "now what?". Don't you love when that happens? Rarely do I check everything off my list. But then of course I feel guilty thinking "should I read this magazine or should I be tackling the projects that haven't even made it to my list yet like organizing the pantry I've let become a disaster?" sadly... I think the pantry might win, but it is Thursday, which means Jeff plays basketball, which mean pantry can happen after bedtime. Gorgeous windy day outside.. here I come!

A large group of Etsy folks decided to have a "Yart Sale" (ok.. a lot of quotation marks today).. get it... Art Sale meets Yard Sale. Pretty cool idea. If you go to etsy and type in "yart" in the search bar all 8000+ items (as of today) will appear and they are all on sale! Here's what I listed for $3 off the regular price.

Oh and on a final thought... Kelsey yesterday not really sure what she was upset about, but this was actually before she banged her head on the floor literally 20 seconds later. You have to love the ode to Richard Simmons shorts!

Until next time!

Enjoy the day...

rainy, sunny.. whatever it is where you are!

2nd time around

Well.. I survived my first post. I got one comment, so wow.. someone out there found my blog... imagine that! It's been so nice outside. I just haven't been sitting by the computer much.

It rarely gets in the high 80's in Maine and 90 is especially rare. So we've been enjoying it! Kelsey went in her kiddie pool for the first time ever... Julia loves being the big "sissy" and helping "KK" with everything. They had fun. Poor Kelsey got a bleeder of a black fly bite right in the corner of her eye. Mama needs to be more diligent with the bug stuff! Kelsey just loves being at the swing set and her bumblee swing her Gramp gave her.

I never knew I'd love being a mom so much or that I'd feel guilty after I quit my job, because I just have so much fun everyday!

Ok.. so moving on... I am excited that this Saturday we are having an Etsy Maine Team meeting in Augusta, Maine. The MaineTeam members are fantastic and so supportive.

Whimsidoodle had two sales this week.. very exciting. One was a trade for Miss Kelsey's 1st birthday invites and the other was to

Australia! My first international sale! Hopefully that goes smoothly through customs.

I recently started listing sets of origami lights without the lights- just the boxes. So far one sale of those (to Australia), but I'm thinking those are going to work out pretty well. They save on shipping for the buyer and then the buyer can use their own lights, but either way... they're still fun!

Each Christmas my parents (mom now) put up a strand of lights my sister and I made and put them in the shape of a Christmas tress in the huge window of the condo. Such a nice and festive way to use them!

Alright... enough talk about Christmas. It's 80 degrees outside in June. I have a baby napping and some plants that need to go into the ground.

Enjoy the weather wherever you are and if it's raining... well.. wash the floor I guess.

Until next time!

Enjoy it all.......

Gotta start somewhere right?

Welcome to my blog. This is my very first post, so please bare with me as I attempt to make a go of this. I must admit... I've been holding out on joing the "blogosphere". I figured, "what do I need a blog for, everyone already has one, so at one point in time do they become obsolete?", but then I started to look at it differently and started realizing what a fun way to say what I want to say, show pictures of my work and my family and whoever wants to read it can... sign me up.

I left my job in December of 2007 to be home with my baby. Since then I have been piecing it together. My new tagline = "Piecing it together through a hodge podge of projects". I think that pretty much sums it up. In march I opened my very own shop on etsy - whimsidoodle.etsy.com. I've really been enjoying finding my creative side again.

Etsy is a fabulous community filled with amazing artists and more importantly very nice, caring and helpful people. Soon after I joined etsy I stumbled across the MaineTeam. A group of Etsy members who happen to all live in Maine and thought it would be great if they banded together and help promote one another. Check out the MaineTeam blog!

I should probably take this opportunity to introduce myself... everyone looks the best on their wedding day, so naturally........My name is Jennifer Payson. I am married to a wonderful husband and father, Jeff. We have two girls at home - my step-daughter Julia and our baby Kelsey (I can't believe she will be a year in July already!) Jeff is a phys ed and health teacher for k-8. Julia is a vivacious first grader and a phenomenal reader and miss kelsey is crawling all over the place these days. How fast it goes by!

Until next time... (it just feels weird not signing off)