Shout Outs!

So for some reason the title "rainy day = heavy hearts?" came to mind and I was going to write about how it started out this way, but how I'm trying to lift it, but whaaaaaaaaa whaaaaaaaaa I don't want to be so serious today! (but just for one more second)... Ok so the whole... "when life hands you lemons thing". Life has handed us a few lemons lately.. We're trying to so hard to make lemonade, but has anyone ever stopped to realize that lemonade is really sour without the sugar? What about the sugar? I NEED SOME SUGAR!

On that note... Here's some shout outs to people and things that have been giving me some sugar!

1. Pam of Folk Art Tree Fandangle absolutely made my day. First of all, she had the most clever idea of sending a gift to every 50th person that hearts her etsy shops. When she told me I was 50 I thought it was a really sweet idea, but didn't want her to feel obligated to send me a gift. She (sweetly) demanded that it didn't matter I was a team member, but I was 50th and I won. So today I open my little gift. The card she wrote me was the sweetest thing and made my day. Her packaging was adorable. She puts in a tiny little piece of paper that says smile on it that falls out into your lap and makes you do just that and then (we haven't even gotten to the gift yet!) the cutest little earrings were inside the box. They are sterling and swarovsky crystal and I just love them. Thank you Pam.. that deserves a shout out.

2. My Boys. This show just keeps getting better and better. One of the episodes this season.. maybe the first I think I laughed uncontrollably for at least 3-5 minutes. It was great. We had to pause it. Jeff and I both love it. We just wish that the episodes were longer and by golly that the season was longer! 6 or 8 episodes or whatever it is is SO short! But we LOVE it and we want more!

3. Sushi. Oh how I miss you dear sushi. It's been far far too long. But you still deserve a shout out. I've yet to find a "sushi buddy" around here and the only place that was open for lunch is no longer. I NEED my fix!

4. Toyota Sienna. I just love my car. It's wonderful. I love that because we took one of the bucket seats out we have a big open space where I can easily change a diaper, we can sit and have a snack, or just waste time. It's wonderful. As much as it's still crazy I drive a mini-van I still love it.

5. Mini Golf. I just love mini golf and I'm getting her started early! She had a blast. When we were in NH we went to Pirate's Cove with Mom and Paul. She was a bit too young for the putting concept, but she loved being there and having the ball.

6. CSA's. I am so excited to start getting my veggies from Hatchet Cove Farm. Hatchet Cove Farm’s Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program is a great way to receive farm-fresh, nutritious, organic vegetables at a great value. When you become a CSA member (by buying a ’share’ in the farm for the season) we become your farmers, and Hatchet Cove Farm becomes your farm. How does it work? When you purchase a CSA share you help support the farm by paying up front for your veggies in the spring. That helps them pay for seed and cover the expenses of starting up the farm for the season. In return, you get a weekly selection of all that is available on the farm. This means you are eating the freshest, most delicious seasonal veggies possible. Kelsey and I can't wait to start visiting the animals!

7. Scrabble. It really is the world's best board game. I don't play nearly enough. I think I need to start a scrabble night!

8. Sesame Street. Kelsey loves it and ok I admit it.. it makes a good babysitter sometimes. Kelsey was just so delighted to see the picture!

9. Comfort Foods. mmmmmmmmmmm. mac n cheese, stuffed shells, pot roast. yeah that pretty much sums it up for me right now. Oh and I have meatballs cooking right now.


Ten seems too cliche.

A Tribute to Father's (part 2)

I fear I am going to post pretty infrequently this summer. With Jeff home from school and the summer being so gorgeous.. I haven't been "off" during the summer in years and it's just too great to pass up!

Well... we're now way beyond Father's Day, but everyday is still an opportunity for a tribute. I just read a post on my cousin's blog all about my father, which made the tears stream down my face, but it also led me to remember how lucky I am that my family has a wonderful husband and father that we cherish everyday.

When my dad got sick I was at a crossroads in my life between daughter and future wife. Throughout college I consulted with my dad on everything. Everyday I had a reason to call and sometimes no reason, but I was extremely dependent on my dad. He was my sounding board for everything and as I got older it got better as we could go to dinner or to the bar and grab some food and drinks and just talk about business and marketing strategy for hours. I felt this battle inside of myself when he was sick.. I was torn during decision times - do I figure this out within myself and consult just Jeff, my future husband or do I bring my dad in, because a) that's what I've always done b) he's ALWAYS right and c) will he scoff later if I don't, because I didn't make a good decision? But he'd also get annoyed when I asked advice and then did the opposite of what he suggested.

Once I got married it was much easier to rely on Jeff and to put my trust into him wholehearted and wow it's amazing how timing works, because I didn't really have a choice. 1 month and 8 days after my dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away to my husband, he passed away. Now almost 2 years later it is still surreal to me that my dad isn't a phone call away. And everyday that passes by I am more and more grateful for Jeff who is always ready to help me and offer advice and be my sounding board. And he has a marketing mind! I love that. He gets so excited when he sees campaigns that need a new tag line and he's good at it. So good that we have a few pitches we're going to make.

The week that my dad died Jeff was absolutely unbelievable. I never knew our relationship could be so soft and compassionate... it's just not what we are on a day to day basis, but he just knew what I needed. He'd never experienced much death and he was in the room when my dad took his last breath.

We got pregnant with Kelsey just a couple of months after. Things were a bit rocky up to that point and we had actually decided to wait at least 6 months to start trying again, because we needed to figure us out first. Go figure was the phrase for a while... we found out I was pregnant 3 days later.

Everyone else seemed to know there was a connection between grief and procreation, but apparently I was the last to figure it out. I'm not sure if it's entirely because it fills a void or because it's the circle of life. Regardless, being pregnant while grieving is a pretty difficult time. Jeff was extremely patient and tolerant.

I knew going into my marriage and having a baby that Jeff was an amazing father and I knew we parented similarly because of Julia. While there are many stresses and hardships surrounding a complex family and step-parents and children, one absolute positive aspect is that there's no questions when it comes to how you'll parent together.. you've already had practice.

Jeff is an amazing father. It seems so lame to say that and it's been said so many times about so many dads (who I'm sure ARE all amazing), but how do you put it into words.. there just isn't enough.

He makes the girls laugh, he plays, he reads, he teaches them new things, he's persistent, but gentle. He assumes the responsibility and has no qualms about alone time or bed time or feeding time. He LOVES being a dad and we are so lucky to have him and I am so lucky to have him.

A tribute to fathers (part 1)

I know I am a couple of days late on this... Happy Father's Day to all of you fathers out there. This post is dedicated to all of the amazing fathers out there and especially the ones in my life. A tribute to my father- Michael Kevin Molloy - March 27, 1942 - August 30th, 2006.

My dad, Michael Kevin Molloy Sr., is impossible to describe in words, but I guess looking back, I have tried on several occasions over the years. His charisma and ability to streamline and deflect any situation that arose was monumental. His problem solving and people skills could go down in history books. He taught everyone he met and was always learning. He had this "Rat Pack" tough kid from the Bronx charm, but he was never cold or unable to approach. Mike (or Mikey allowed by only certain clan members), first generation American, was born in the Bronx to Richard and Ita Molloy of Ireland. He was 7 out of 10 kids, which undoubtedly had a lot to do with social charm and his dire need for "Mikey time". Only those who lived with my dad would know that he was not always "on" or ready for a social gathering. When home, just lounging my dad resided in his sweatpants, white socks and his very loved and very broken-in recliner chair with clicker in hand and a (very) large plastic cup of water or seltzer or caffeine free coke (the kind that makes you go "uh guh guh guh"

My dad was always the final word for me when it came to asking for advice. I consulted with him on everything from car repairs and what computer to buy to tag lines for marketing campaigns I was working on. They didn't call him "the Whip" in high school for no reason. He could whip out a come back faster than anyone I've ever met. He was always ready, but listened with such a keen ear.

I wrote a poem about him my senior year in high school that until the day he died was still quite an accurate assessment - goes to show how consistent he was. My assignment was to write a character sketch of someone I knew based on the style of the Canterbury Tales. I had just recently been grounded until I turned 18, so for two months - my dad was pretty ticked off...

"My father is a man immense with life.
His Eyes a sparkling blue,
And his laughter loud and true.
Through out the years his hair color has changed,
The shades of salt and pepper are all arranged.
He still has a full head of hair,
But in the center there is a small glare.
His attire is a simple dress,
My father is not one to try and impress.
The advice he gives is admirable and fair,
He never hesitates to show that he cares.
A pat on the back is a common occurrence,
As is a pep talk to engrave his assurance.
When he says "I love you kid",
And I have no knowledge of what I did,
I know it's because he's great
And that he's in a joyous state.
The smile that stretches from ear to ear,
Is what will bring to my eye a tear.
He shows his approval out of the blue,
He doesn't need a specific cue.
When he is angry it creates quite a sight,
It may even cause an abundance of fright.
Those famous last words before the end,
"You're pushing your luck, Kid" is what he'll send.
The sound of his voice generates fear,
The depth and tone are what make it clear.
When he clears his throat it's a warning to flee,
And if the warning is neglected,
It's an invitation to a yelling spree.
The eruption only comes after tremendous irritation,
And every time a great initiation.
He won't blow at the first try,
It takes a lot to crack this guy.
Although the punishments tend to be reasonably short,
Probably because he's so familiar with the sport.
Growing up is a hard task,
But being a supportive parent is a lot to ask.
He accomplishes this to a tee,
I'm sure he can't wait to be free.
He and his wife have dreams of the south,
I know we'll keep in touch by mouth.
He strives hard to flourish in his field,
His background and knowledge provide a great shield.
Business and casual are united as one,
He has always succeeded at combining work with fun.
Business deals are constant dates,
In any one of the fifty states.
Often times they take up a whole day,
Discussions are even held on the fairway.
Golf and cigars are his passion,
The opposite of his opinion on fashion.
He focuses on the world around,
The Wall Street Journal cannot be put down.
With each passing day my respect for him grows.
And as I get older I seem to know,
The measures he takes to provide for me.
Without those journies I would not see,
That my father is a man immense with life.

You can see the admiration I had for him when I was just a pip squeak!

In 2006 I had the honor of being walked down the aisle by my father. It had never even occurred to me that it was even a possibility he wouldn't be there. Not even when he was diagnosed with cancer in March of '06. When I was in college he was diagnosed with lung disease (interstitial pulmonary fibrosis).. basically the lungs attack themselves and deteriorate over time. Once he got "better" from it I rarely even thought about it and he was fine. He could exercise and smoke his cigars etc. He was living a normal life. Until March of '06. Literally in a matter of a few days he couldn't swallow anymore. He called me on March 9th (the day before my Mom's 52nd birthday) and told me he/they thought he had esophageal cancer. My response was "are you serious".. it was just so surreal. They caught it early enough, but to fully get the tumor out they would normally operate to remove it, which requires collapsing a lung. With his lung history it wasn't a risk they could take, so they added 2 extra weeks of radiation. Chemo and Radiation took their toll. After several weeks into it as the tumor started to shrink he was able to eat again. My dad loved his food so much that while he couldn't eat he'd actually chew filet mignon just to get the flavor and then spit it out. His humor through it all was unbelievable. He'd send emails to the "Molloy Clan" titled "Cue Ball Update". It was hard to tell what was really going on from afar. Whenever anyone called my parents they'd get one story from my mom (reality combined with fear) and a completely different one from my dad (completely upbeat and turning the conversation to.. so what's going on with you?). He finished the chemo and radiation. He went to my wedding. He beat the cancer. But the lungs got fried in the meantime and just couldn't hold up any longer. In a matter of days he went from celebrating beating the cancer at his favorite restaurant with champagne and making golf dates to passing away. My mom still has his cell phone activated. She says it's because it's a family plan and it'd be a pain to cancel, but I'm not complaining. I'm sure she calls it just like we do (my brothers and sister) to hear his voice on his voice mail. Just last week I literally went to go call him and expected him to say hi. I forgot for a minute. Since he passed I have found myself so flustered and upset that I forgot the sound of his laugh, but it always comes back.

My dad was my inspiration, my hero, and my best friend. I miss him more with each passing day. I wish my daughter would have gotten to meet him, but I know she has so much of him and even his blue eyes. Everyday I reflect about the time I had and the life I want to lead in which he'd be proud.